Со страхом понял, что вижу в нем немало сходства с собой - ранимость, нестабильность психики, ощущение собственной никчёмности, одиночества, чуждости и ненужности всем, склонность подпадать под чужое влияние (в его случае - влияние Поля Гогена, что сыграло в жизни Винсента роковую роль).
I came to the sobering/horrifying realization that I see quite a bit of myself in him — vulnerability, mental instability, a sense of worthlessness, loneliness, strangeness and uselessness in everyone’s eyes, a tendency to fall under the influence of others
(in his case, the influence of Paul Gauguin, who had a fatal role in Vincent's life).
Интересненько: I was awed to realise the similarities between him and myself: vulnerability, emotional instability, feeling of own insignificance, loneliness, alienation and uselessness, inclination for being under someone’s influence (in his case - the influence of Paul Gauguin that impacted Vincent’s life in a fatal way)
I realised to my horror that I strongly identify myself with him - the same vulnerability, mental instability, (the feeling of) worthlessness and loneliness, otherness and uselessness for everyone/anyone, susceptibility to influence (by Paul Gauguin in his case, which turned to be fatal for Vincent).