` ALadded a note 8 years ago

You said you wanted good translators to rate your work, and I'm assuming you wrote this, so here are my comments and corrections:

(1) Giving the option of two spellings - one British, the other American, is unnecessary, if not downright pedantic. When you set out to learn English, pick one dialect and make it your own. However, when in doubt, use the American spelling, since it's the more international. So: Humor in English. (period!) In Russian you specify "language," in English you don't.

(2) ...and English for the English-speaking world (... not just the English). This is actually a very broad and obvious statement, which ideally you could have left out of this text entirely - or just mentioned the Russians and let the reader fill in the blank.

(3) If you don't AS MUCH as (crack a) smile while YOU'RE READING IT, THAT means that you EITHER don't understand English, or you're not an Englishman. (Again, no reason to specify Brits and rule out the rest of the English-speaking world).

(4) A Visit to the Mall (indefinite article)

(5) A father and son... there's no reason to capitalize Father unless you're referring to God or addressing a priest.

(6) The boy asked "What's that, dad?" (Children usually don't talk like "What is this, father?")

(7) The father responded "I"ve never seen anything like it in my life. I have no idea." (In the spoken language we use contractions 99% of the time - otherwise it sounds unnatural.)

(8) While the boy and his father WATCHED wide-eyed, (comma) an old lady in a WHEELCHAIR...

(9) WITH numbers

(10) 24-year-old woman (hyphens)

The father TURNS TO his son and SAYS "Go get your mother!"

So here's my version:

A Visit to the Mall

A father and son visiting from a third world country go to Lakeside Mall. They're amazed by almost everything they see, but especially two shiny, silver walls that can move apart and then come back together.

The boy asks “What’s that, dad?" The Father answers “I have no idea - I’ve never seen anything like it in my life!"

While they watch in wide-eyed wonder, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to the moving walls and presses a button. The walls open up and the lady rolls through them into a small room. The walls close and the boy and his father watch as small illuminated circles with numbers above the walls light up. They continue to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls open up again and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman steps out.

The father turns to his son and say "Go get your mother!”

Jokes in English are traditionally told in the present tense.

Hope this helps

Uly, 👍

Улий, супер! Совсем другое дело) Кстати, в русском анекдоты обычно тоже рассказывают в настоящем времени.

Ага! Очень интересно.

Ой, Я только что заметил что там опечатка: turns to his son and SAYS 😖

Uly, a good English lesson👍

Hold on to your ass, Elena, I'm about to publish my version in Russian!

Uly, I don't know who wrote this text.
Thank you for such marvelous lesson.

Спасибо большое, Улий! Да, ещё один урок, нам есть с чем посидеть часок-другой.)
Объективности ради должна заметить, что для русского переводчика, кто бы он ни был, не такой уж плохой результат. Лично я мало знаю людей, которые перевели бы это с русского на английский лучше (о присутствующих не говорю).

Hold on to your ass - подожди?

= something VERY interesting is coming

Скоро будет кое-что интересное. Жди сюрприз. Я тебя удивлю.

👍🏼

Both spellings refer to the same concept, which is the quality of being amusing, funny, or entertaining. The choice of spelling depends on the variety of English being used or the personal preference of the writer or speaker.
https://iogamesio.org/basketbrosio